“Dont compare your life to others. Theres no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time”
And no truer words were spoken.
We are all on our own paths, all born with our own physique, all working towards our own goals, so how can we actually compare that?? Its impossible. You dont know how someone else feels about their body, so how can you envy the position they’re in? A few comparison-kicking tactics I use:
•dont comment on, or judge, anyone elses physique. The less you voice your opinion on another person’s body, the less you feel the need to critique your own. Whether that’s in front of/to that person or not. The less you judge everyone else for their outsides, the more comfortable you will feel with yours. You dont need to put other people down to uplift yourself.
• dont use jealous language. ‘I wish I had her….she looks so good why do I look like this…..I’d die to look like her’. This is shifting the blame of your own circumstances onto someone else, whilst also putting them, and yourself, down for something you presume you want to be. They may not find themselves attractive, they may be aching to lose/gain weight, so how dare you make them feel bad because YOU find them attractive. It’s so backwards. Also, newsflash, you will NEVER look like that. Ever. It’s impossible. All you can be is the best version of yourself, physically and mentally.
Summed up, just appreciate. Appreciate that persons body, and rest assured in the knowledge that you’re working towards a point where you will be happy, confident, and secure in whatever body you are in
Comparison leads to jealousy, and jealousy leads to victimhood. Theres no growth in victimhood.🌸

‘You cant hate yourself into a version of yourself you can love ‘

This. This every time. This is the lesson that took me the longest to learn and understand. I remember saying to my ex ‘I know you say you dont care about how thin I am but I’m just letting you know I hate how I look’ I said this constantly. I thought I was doing her a favour by hating myself enough for the both of us. I stopped letting her touch me, even when we went to sleep I didn’t want her touching me. I put myself down at every opportunity because I just needed her to know that I hated the way I looked and I understood if she hated it too. Little did I know this was the most toxic thing I ever did. From my point of view at the time it made perfect sense, I was disgusting, horrible to look at and even worse to touch, so letting her know it’s okay to be disgusted by me so must be the best thing for our relationship right? I was victimising myself whilst hating her for being with me whilst pushing her away but wanting her to want me. How confusing for another human is that? You dont have the right to pull everyone into your darkness. If they want to be there for you and support you let them, if you arent ready to change and want them to wallow in your sadness and self hatred, let them go, because eventually you will destroy them with things that they have no control over. If you’re insecure now you’ll always be insecure, there is no ‘perfect weight’ or ‘perfect body’ all there is is you being healthy in your body and mind and there is nothing beyond that. If you want to work on yourself do it, but do it from a place of love, do it because you love yourself and want to be in love with yourself, not because you hate yourself and need to reach some unattainable destination. Until you learn to love who you are and how you look you will never be enough for yourself. Theres no growth in victimhood. Stop putting yourself down, stop nitpicking at your body in front of friends and family, it’s not up to everyone else to make you feel comfortable with yourself. Interrupt negative thoughts and say ‘I am trying’ instead.🌸

I dont have the energy or attention span to meal prep. Every time I tried I was just setting myself up for failure, which would get my week off to a bad start. Also, some days I wanted to eat more than others. Now, I have a general idea of what i’m going to eat when, daily. The night before, or when I first wake up, I make a mental note of what’s in the fridge/cupboards and what I feel like eating. Then I have a rough idea of what times that day I’ll be able to eat. I.e. I have to do the school run, go to the gym and then attend 2 meetings, so I will eat at w, x, y and z o’clock. 🌸

I dont own any weighing scales, not strictly my choice but it’s a decision I’ve come to massively appreciate. My mum hid them from me a couple of years ago when I became obsessed with my weight. The thing with forever weighing yourself is, i’d be doing soooo good all week, eating meals consistently, but if the scales didn’t reflect that I would feel like I’d failed. ‘Why do I bother? I’m obviously stuck like this’ and then I’d regress and stop eating again. So yeah, scales dont reflect effort and weight gain takes time and, above all, consistency. You’re trying to build a healthy lifestyle with healthy habits. BMI and a number on a scale isnt everything 🌸